Grace for Each Other: Forgiveness in Marriage

Ephesians 4:32 (ESV), Colossians 3:13 (NIV), 1 Corinthians 13:5 (NASB)

The Foundation of Forgiveness in Marriage

Marriage brings two unique, imperfect people into the closest of relationships. While love, joy, and companionship are God’s gifts in marriage, so are the challenges. Hurtful words, misunderstandings, and disappointments are inevitable. That’s why forgiveness is not optional in marriage—it is essential. At the heart of Christ-centered marriage is a grace that forgives as we have been forgiven, a love that covers wrongs, and a humility that seeks restoration over being right.

Forgiveness in marriage is not minimizing or ignoring hurt, but choosing to let go of bitterness and to extend the same mercy God has given us. It is a commitment to keep no record of wrongs, to bear with each other’s weaknesses, and to trust God for healing and growth. When forgiveness flows freely, marriages become places of safety, healing, and deepening intimacy.

In this devotional, we’ll explore “Grace for Each Other: Forgiveness in Marriage” through Ephesians 4:32, Colossians 3:13, and 1 Corinthians 13:5. These passages invite us to put grace into practice, to forgive as Christ forgave us, and to reflect God’s love in the daily rhythms of married life.

Forgiving as You Have Been Forgiven—Ephesians 4:32

Paul gives a simple but profound command:

“Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” (Ephesians 4:32, ESV)

Forgiveness is rooted in kindness and compassion. We forgive not because our spouse always deserves it, but because we, too, have been lavishly forgiven by God in Christ. The kindness and grace we have received become the well from which we draw to offer the same to our spouse.

Forgiveness is not a one-time event, but a daily practice—and sometimes, a moment-by-moment choice.

Bear With and Forgive Each Other—Colossians 3:13

Paul calls believers to both patience and forgiveness:

“Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” (Colossians 3:13, NIV)

Marriage requires “bearing with”—enduring each other’s quirks, failures, and sins with patience. When grievances arise (and they will), the command is clear: forgive, just as the Lord forgave you. Jesus’ forgiveness is the standard and the source.

This kind of forgiveness is costly, but it is also freeing. It releases us from the prison of resentment and paves the way for reconciliation and healing.

Love Keeps No Record of Wrongs—1 Corinthians 13:5

Paul describes the nature of true love:

“Love… does not take into account a wrong suffered.” (1 Corinthians 13:5, NASB)

Love chooses not to keep score. It doesn’t harbor grudges, rehearse old wounds, or use the past as a weapon in future conflicts. Instead, love lets go, forgives, and moves forward. This is the love God has for us, and the love He calls us to show in marriage.

A marriage where love “keeps no record of wrongs” is a safe place to confess, to repent, and to grow.

Living Out Forgiveness in Marriage

How can we practice grace and forgiveness with our spouse every day?

  • Remember Your Own Need for Grace: Keep the cross at the center of your marriage. Remember how much you have been forgiven.
  • Be Quick to Forgive: Don’t let grudges or bitterness take root. Choose to forgive, even when it is difficult or feels undeserved.
  • Bear With Each Other: Accept your spouse’s weaknesses and imperfections. Practice patience, kindness, and humility.
  • Let Go of Scorekeeping: Refuse to bring up past wrongs or to hold mistakes over your spouse. Focus on growth, not grievance.
  • Communicate Honestly and Gently: Talk about hurts and disappointments, but do so with love, seeking understanding and restoration.
  • Pray Together: Ask God for the strength to forgive and the grace to love as He loves.

The Healing and Joy of Forgiving Love

Forgiveness in marriage brings healing, freedom, and renewed intimacy. It breaks the cycle of hurt and retaliation, opening the way for deeper trust and joy. Grace is the atmosphere where love can flourish and where both spouses can become more like Jesus.

A marriage marked by daily forgiveness is a powerful witness to the world, showing that God’s love is real and that grace truly transforms.

Reflection Questions

  • Are there past hurts or grievances you are still holding onto in your marriage? What would it look like to let them go?
  • How does remembering Christ’s forgiveness toward you help you forgive your spouse?
  • In what ways can you bear with your spouse’s weaknesses and show more patience or kindness?
  • Are you keeping a mental record of wrongs? How can you release that burden to God?
  • What practical step can you take this week to practice forgiveness and extend grace in your marriage?

Practical Application

This week, meditate on Ephesians 4:32, Colossians 3:13, and 1 Corinthians 13:5. If you need to forgive your spouse, pray for God’s help, and take a step toward reconciliation—whether through a conversation, a note, or a simple act of kindness.

Make a commitment to stop bringing up past hurts. When tempted, remind yourself, “Love keeps no record of wrongs.”

Pray together as a couple, asking God to fill your home with His grace, forgiveness, and love.

Encourage another couple by sharing how God’s forgiveness is shaping your marriage.

Summary

Forgiveness is at the heart of a Christ-centered marriage. As we bear with each other, forgive as Christ forgave us, and refuse to keep a record of wrongs, our marriages become places of healing, joy, and witness to God’s amazing grace. May we daily practice grace for each other, trusting that God’s love can restore and renew even the most broken places.